Day two, part 1: Deer at dawn
[shashin type="photo" id="388" size="medium" columns="max" order="user" position="left"]See the initial story in this series
Before the second day of my trip from Portland to Missoula for the 2010 Society of Environmental Journalists conference I'd hoped to visit Hell's Canyon. That morning - if I could really call it that - I realized I didn't want to make the solo trip down a gravel road from Imnaha after a freeze, not the way I felt. Lonesomeness had crept in a little, too, and I didn't want to experience the gorge alone, knowing then that there was a traveling companion not there with whom I'd want to share the marvel. Anyhow, I didn't know exactly yet how much time I had to linger.
Still, this was my time on the road, my time made uniquely possible by a few key people. I didn't want to miss this world, knowing how remote this landscape was for me, and how rare my opportunities to visit might be. Though fatigued, it was important to me to let my spirit move me, even if it moved me slowly, even if it moved me differently than I'd expected or hoped.
First, the dawn. I can't remember a morning I've welcomed as much as that one. I watched the world take shape, connected by fog between the trees on the hill behind my camp site. Though exhausted, I needed to stretch my legs, to soak in as much of the emerging daylight as I could, and summoned the energy to enter the space taking shape around me. I needed to draw some value, some strength, anything from that space.[pullquote]Tweets from the road: Good morning from joseph OR. Woke today at wallowa lake state park to rutting deer. Will write post when i get internet access. - Oct. 12[/pullquote]
It was little more than a typical state campground, albeit a heavily wooded one at the edge of a mountain valley. Two campsites to my left, a couple stirred from their tent, pulling sweaters and oatmeal and orange juice from their Subaru. College kids giggled inside a big tent at another site. A bald man pulled a bike from the back of his RV across the way. Though not crowded, the campground was far more occupied than it felt the previous night, when I barely slept. Instead, I pulled all the layers I'd surrounded myself with to the passenger seat of my Mazda, where I sat with the seat warmer on for half an hour. Wearied by fire and ice fighting their way through my body, I had stopped caring about energy-savings or frugality or any rational concern. In the dark of night I ate string cheese and freshly-baked chocolate chip and ginger cookies that had been given to me at the outset of my trip, and I drew solace from their nourishment, especially after skipping dinner the night before while I looked for a place to stay and collapsed into my campsite.
To calm my mind, to distract myself, to think of anything but there, I'd wandered through 100 pages or so of Reif Larsen's The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet. (a bit “burdened by device” myself, but enjoyably so, happy for the escape from my nocturnal malaise). I took pleasure in noticing that the book began not far from where I was headed, and where I might end up after the SEJ conference. As I read of young T.S.'s fascination with the Berkeley Pit, near Butte, I lamented not having selected a conference tour of the Superfund site (though I remained excited for my own tour to Glacier National Park).
Before I headed out for a walk I picked up my journal, the one I'd written in the night before, still in the tent, still before giving up on the night, before succumbing to the cold. To this day, the pages beyond the entry are blank. Their potential having vanished as the breathing room around my brain filled and as my lungs clouded
Morning did return, though. With it came my breath, and at least a little enthusiasm. So I set out on my walk, planning first to stop at the bathroom. On my way I discovered a buck grazing on the frozen grass between me and the campground restroom. A few more deer grazed at other parts of the campground. I quickly realized whose land I was visiting.
[shashin type="photo" id="387,369,373,385" size="small" columns="2" order="user" position="left"]Continuing to the still quiet of Wallowa Lake I was welcomed by a sharp clatter rattling from the frost-covered shore. Four more, younger deer stood there, playing and locking their antlers together. Other noises also filled the silence: quacking ducks lining up to waddle into the water, a creek somewhere I couldn't see and the crunch of pebbles under the deer's feet as they pranced toward the parking lot from which I'd watched them.
I watched the deer investigate trash cans outside a shuttered boathouse for while, then returned to my site, packed up and drove back into town, pleased I'd come here, that even as the rest of the campground woke in a rustle of orange juice cartons and sewage hookups and GPS devices, I experienced, seemingly all to myself, this brief sliver of nature waking up to itself.
